the sound you may hear

because it's been quite a while since I was marked for destruction but my persistence in living is never enough

when the supposed helper traps me in a room, and you expect a ruckus to be heard and only one leave the room

when you see it is me and only me who after exists, it will be those who know of the truth and that only in absolute

they will know I cannot and do not shift shape, it is me and only me not posing as helper sent to life of mine to take

if listening carefully the sound will be heard "XIAO XING!!" is the song my sword of justice sings not second or third

but it is the first sound made before corrections of wronged that I will now right,
death to the mighty one helper Tee

it will be then you know the words dusty is in fact my true name just lil ol me



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I am not trying to post riddles to be solved of have anybody waste their time trying to solve them. Here I am expressing an emotion:which is I will not be defeated by the words, thoughts, or actions of others.

I may seem at times like I am (defeated). But it is only temporary, I am affected by things that others do and sometimes that affect is negative. I try to only accept words, thoughts, and actions of others that will affect me in positive ways. But some people are assholes and the negative effect is not seen til it is too late to not be affected.

here I also reference cellular biology (the helper T cell) is what biologists have named as the specific entity in a cell whose job preformed is the destruction/dismantling of anything tagged for destruction/dismantling. In the cellular world there is no choice, everybody does only the job they are designed to do and nothing else, there is NO responsibility assigned for any action. It should be known that the helper T cell is the toughest entity within a cell. Helper T cells do NOT "lose fights". If something is tagged for destruction and the tag is seen by the Helper T cell destruction of the entity tagged is certain and swift. Make no mistake there is no hiding or defeating a battle. So my poem implies I am the exception to the rule, that I am something that doesn't exist (an entity "tougher" or capable of winning a fight against the helper T.

so another analogy that would be more "real life" than fantasy would be to reference the community of people aboard a ship. In the terminology of such a world the first mate would be the equivalent to the helper T. Because when a ship is out to sea, a captain needs somebody who can whoop anyones ass in case any crew member or passenger cannot be persuaded to agree with or at least comply with the captains orders. While a person being able to kick the captains ass may be common, it doesn't happen unless that person first wins a fight against the first mate. Fights aboard ships can and do happen, which is why you can be sure the first mate is definitely skilled at fighting and has proven himself because it is ultimately his job to not lose a fight when a passenger or crew member challenges the captain's order. It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes a challenge to captain orders succeed as the victorious opinion. This happens in two main ways. The most common being mutiny where the majority of the crew has an opinion that takes precedence because while the first mate may be the toughest individual, dealing with too many who oppose at the same time is not a battle the first mate can win. The least common situation is win a challenger kicks the ass or kills the first mate. It doesn't typically happen because persons whom there is any evidence at all that this might be a plausible scenario are NOT allowed as crew members OR as passengers because a captain does not want to loose control of his ship.

so I guess what I am saying is, if the situation is that I was on your ship as crew or guest it is too late for you, cause the first mate will get his ass kicked. If not then I am simply aboard my own boat and this would be a warning shot across your bow:I would not engage in a war with my ship as it is my opinion you will loose.

In any event, my goal is NOT to exclude (except persons who are bigots or harbor hatred) It is not my goal to confuse or present myself as someone complicated and only reward the few who are smart enough or persistent enough to "figure me out".

when I see an action preformed that I view as intentionally hurting another who does not deserve such an action (according to law or the unspoken law of the street or sea) I will take action to help who I see as the victim.

Xiao Xing here is onomatopoeia but is also the band name of a cooking rice wine I use in Asian dishes I cook