I believe the news I read it started on Friday, things are in motion. I am doing what I was meant to do. My purpose is not tell Jesus Jokes or convert anybody to my religious views (which I have never seriously discussed with anyone and there are large parts of the world that I hold sacred that I will not debate at any costs. Some of the feelings that I feel are me are fragile. Parts of me that I lost more than 13 years ago that I will not regain. I regret those decisions in my life and it's regret that I will never feel again)
I am sometimes viewed as arrogant, and often I am.There are parts of me that happened, that I picked up or was given informs of awareness that I fought cause the emotions I could not cut loose felt nothing more than a curse. If it's a curse of delusion or of a sickness as it may be viewed, doesn't matter to me, even if they were more accurate at labeling it so they could understand, it does not change how it is experienced by me. I gave up on nurturing it or trying to know it as a young child and because of that mistake I was always to some extent off balance. My soul is for now residing on earth and there is nothing I can do about it. Everything that is me I will know so that any sudden seismic waves that pass will not leave my off balance. Knowing all of me I will best be able to deal with the waves that for me have always been unexpected. While they may still surprise me when the waves hit I well better adjust to the four of primary, secondary, rayleigh and love
another mystery plant I did not plant in my yard is pictured above
Silver has a dark patch of fur on the right side of her chin. It is very distinct as it looks like she had put her chin in mud, or a blackened as if it were oil tear drop oil that is done looks as if it has finished rolling off of her. Once that tear falls from her chin it is no longer a part of her. My tears that feel as heavy, thick and black as oil and feel like the earths blood are not tears I will cry again.
every part of me that I nurtured and grew in the shade belongs to me. I am not here to take anything from anybody and in a lot of ways do not wish to accept anything form anybody. I have never wasted more time in my entire life then trying to piece together my life that I gave away not expecting it to come back. They were given for another to have. When pieces of of me are returned I do not leave them behind for they are me, or were at one time. I struggled as I have never before because what I tried to salvage was shaped completely different by lies. I have found ways for the wrecked me to be a part of me without those parts being forgotten or left behind. I did it for myself by myself and while it has changed from what it was they are mine. I don't hide them because I own them outright.
I only answer to me or my daughters. Noone else. when I say noone I mean noone
my imagination is infinite and is harder to turn it off than to ever worry about turning it on. Because of that magic I can easily afford to see with logic and be practical--not starry eyed--and the times I am like that do not diminish at all the magic that my life overflows with.
dirt clustit is dusty is me. Dustin on my birth certificate.
Heir's the Dirt
this quote I promise you has a completely different meaning to me than it does to anybody else. To me it is a disclaimer because I am not talking about gardens, love, lust, the earth, or the soil or anything else living or inert
In 1788 on December 4, George Washington wrote a letter to Arthur Young only this time addressing him as Mr. Young
"The more I am acquainted with agricultural affairs, the better I am pleased with them; inasmuch that I can no where find so great satisfaction as in these innocent and useful pursuits. In indulging these feelings, I am led to reflect how much more delightful to an undebauched mind is the task of making improvements on the earth, than all the vainglory which can be acquired from ravaging it, by the most uninterrupted career of conquest."
I put that quote here to describe myself pursuing to know myself to understand myself. At this point in time I only want me involved. Only me and only involved in me. I am my garden which will not affect you, be known my you, be viewed or anyone else. The reason is because right now (besides this post) I am and writing on paper with a pen and then burning them. It is time wise up .the rights our constitution supposedly gives Us are not being following. Nobody is abover law, and thats mean following your own laws regarding
check about
This is powerful stuff.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ruth. When I am better settled with where I am at I will tell the story when Silver jumped onto the hood of my car at two in the morning.
ReplyDeleteAs for writing my name on my vehicles: this was do to a lack of intelligence of others. Because I was the first to arrive and the last to leave (at my previous place of employment) my co-workers often mistook my vehicle as abandoned.
As they saw it, the car never left (it was there in the morning and there when they left)My vehicles were impounded more than once and since my co-workers were evidently too stupid to understand, writing my name on the vehicle prevented my car from being impounded (which often meant having to fire up a fork lift and dig out my buried vehicle behind two rows of stacked cards just so I could go home after a long days work.