I am sure you understand how I may have been misled and I hope you understand my level of taking everything way past limits was more or less an attempt to keep things humorous (not humerus but extended for a little lower) was an attempt to maintain sanity.
You can only write so many Heart to Heart essays, stories, thoughts and put them in print, release them as lyrics, snap them as photos and then plant them where you did (even after the fact because until they are known to the one you that you planted them in-they might as well have been planted before hand)
timing of sprouts in the innocent sometimes is in time to leave one feeling suspicious or even paranoid.
such thoughts after so many coincidences are not easy to continue to not doubt-let alone give the benefit of one.
doing your best to behave as a roulette wheel and have no memory of each previous spin feels impossible when you cannot forget each and every spin in the precise order they were once spun
each impossible feeling morphs into a physically felt pain when putting your shoulder to the wheel dictates compassion to apply or release pressure to rig the spin when doing so only helps others as it does you in, but reguardless-it must be done
realizing you have already shattered when you first begin to feel that it may not be wise to continue on
Mary Sharon Moore puts it into better words here
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