we all have those days, there are definitely days that just fucking suck, they hurt. I know she feels. Cause I know her, who she is.
I was trying to explain that I wasn't talking about what her name is, or any other label we use for convienance to address each other, that's just a name. Not who we are.
I meant that know WHO she is. Sometimes I feel like I can just see who people are (at least at that point in time) cause people DO change. Only when they believe they can,
change is the wrong word, cause every person I have ever met, who they really were didn't need changing. They just needed to stop trying to be someone they are not.
it's OK to try being whoever you feel like being, cause everybody needs to try being different people. Who they think would be the best them, eventually they figure out how to recognize the feelings and emotions that are true and not covered up anger or avoiding hurt. Cause that shit definitely has a feeling and it isn't fun. It is hard to be honest and it's something that I will never be perfect at. But practicing it as honest as I can and it starts to get easier to recognize the true feelings. The more that starts happening I find that the times I accidentally fooled myself, the times I didn't realize i was not being honest, those mistakes start getting less detrimental to my life and those mistakes have less of a negative affect on my life and the people around me, my family.
and there are definitely ways to just say fuck it for a little while and not try to get it right. there are ways to do that that are far more healthy than other ways of doing that. You know, there are very negative ways to say fuck it, and there are not so bad ways to say fuck it
you can do it or not do it any way that works for you. Finding the ways that do work for you is hard. (at least it was hard for me to find what works for me) practice doing the best you can. just practice being as honest (with yourself) as you can
i feel like its gets easier or least there are times when it feels easier, anyway I thought since we all have days like this i thought maybe others beside her and I might be able to find something useful in it. so I posted the condensed version
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